Values and life

Haven't finished a study in ages but here we go, another value study. I'm having a hard time doing studies at this time seeing as I'm quitting college so there fore I need to get myself a job. And on top of that I got my parents on my back bugging me about quitting college, what I'm going to do instead and how I'm going to pay off my debts. So I'm currently at my girlfriends place, then I'm going home to my mum for a day or two and theeeen back to my own place at college to get things sorted out over there. So yeah, kinda hard to make studies at times haha.

A bottle of crappy studdies

Damn, making poses took longer than I expected them to. At least if you do them digitally.. so I haven't made as many as I wished. And that bottle study was horrible I don't even know why I'm posting it gah D:
I've also felt a little ill today so all I've done is sketching a little in my sketchbook but I'll try to do some colouring on a piece I'm working on at the moment.



"I hate when I think of questions I don't want to know the answer to." - Daniel Velu

Formositas

There we go, getting in to studies again. Her butt looks a bit flat though gah. More value studies for me then.
I'm also going to try this 100 studies thing that they do on Crimson Daggers. I'll do 100 studies of something so I think I'll do 100 poses to begin with. 15 poses a day should let me be done in about 8 days if I stick to it.



"Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight." - Benjamin Franklin

Day 03 and 04

I'll do two of them today since I missed one yesterday.

Day 03 →Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Hm this is a tough one. I haven't really put much thought in to this one to be honest. I mean sure, alcohol should be consumed with moderation and I guess drugs shouldn't be taken at all. But from what I hear there are exceptions. Some say that marijuana is just as ok as alcohol but I wouldn't know since I haven't tried it. Wouldn't surprise me though since if someone were to invent alcohol drinks today instead of thousands of years ago we'd probably classify it as some kind of illegal drug as well. I'm not saying I'm okay with drugs, I'm just saying that sometimes the line can be a bit blurry. Obviously most drugs are horrible and should not be used by anyone though.


Day 04 →Your views on religion.

I say that everyone has their right to their own belief. If one finds comfort or if their unanswered questions gets answered by a higher deity or some kind of old philosopher then I'm not going to oppose any of that. I'm not being hurt by it and they feel better so how is that a bad thing? I mean I even take inspiration from religious texts at times.. Buddhist ones but still religious. Yet I don't fully agree with Buddhism. Only certain parts of it.
But religion turns bad when these people try to shove their beliefs down my throat and telling me and others what to do. When they or the religion tells you how to live your own life rather than letting ourself choose that I get a bit annoyed. Yes, just a bit annoyed because apparently I never get mad at stuff or people haha.

Hm, I thought I'd have a shit load to write about this subject but I really don't. Basically, I have no problem with religion as long as they don't force it upon people or even their own children, which a lot of religious people do sadly. But those who doesn't, thumbs up to you.

Day 02 →Where you’d like to be in 10 years

• I'm hoping that I'll be working with illustration and/or concept art as either a freelancer or possibly for a company. Probably easier as a freelancer at first but we'll see what I enjoy doing most of the two. Either way, I'm going to be an artist. That's already decided.
  

• I want to be in love.

• I'd like to have a family started by then in a nice home and a steady income that can maintain a family. I don't need a big fancy house. A spacy apartment or a smaller house is fine.. as long as we're happy with it.
  
  
• I want to have met most of my closest online friends by then.
  
  
• Be happy in general. No matter what my situation may be in 10 years I want to be happy. And I wont let my self be anything but happy even if I have a couple of gloomy days now and then.

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him." - Gautama Buddha

Day 01 → Your current relationship, if single discuss how single life is.

I got this list a few days ago from my friend Jenna just before new years. I thought I knew what I'd write about on 'Day 01' back then but so much happened during the past few days so I gotta re-think what I need to write down now.

Disclaimer: This really only concerns the people who are involved or feel like they need some kind of explanation. I'm not doing it for any kind of attention from you. I'm not looking for drama. I'm not trying to create drama. This is just to answer some peoples questions.



A few months back me and my girlfriend separated, for reasons that are of no-one else's concern, and now we're back together again. Giving it a second chance basically. And with this comes a lot of drama and problems and we know that. We knew that from the second we decided to give it another go. And the problems probably wont come from the two of us at first but from others. The major problem would be the opinions of the people close to us. They would lose their respect for us, some more than others, and judge us for doing this. They would start to think less of us as people just over one single decision and look down upon us when we're still the same people we were before. Sure, it's a big decision but we still act the same and we still think the same as we did before we got together. Yet some of the closer people to us will probably still manage to look past that and just go the easy way and start judging instead of looking at it in a bigger picture. They could support us and our decision as a friend/parent/relative for the sake of being a good friend/parent/relative and for the sake of our happiness instead of pushing their opinions and/or social rules on what's acceptable and what's not acceptable in a relationship in our faces. Different people are different so nothing is black and white in a situation like this.
Actually, I take that back about the problem part. It wont be a problem because I wont let it be a problem. Yes, it will be inconvenient, but I wont let it get us down just because someone doesn't agree with us.

And you probably do wonder why we got back together if you're still reading this, in my opinion, unnecessary explanation to one of our life choices. Well basically, we still love each other. We might have done stuff we regret doing or thinking but we are still in love and we decided that this love was worth another shot. Sure, I had a couple of things that weighed against giving it another shot but I also had stuff that weighed for trying again, so in the end, the stuff that weighed for it won.
Strangely enough, it was also my fathers words that echoed in my head when I was considering what to do. He hadn't told me this for this specific situation but often I get to hear "Just go for it. You're young, live a little or you'll regret it". I don't know why, but those words has been stuck in my head for a while. Probably because I agree whole heartedly with those words and most likely because he says it so often as well.
But yes, I do love my girl and even if I might be putting my emotions at risk I still don't want to live my life regretting and wondering what could have happened. I'm not going to go through this relationship thinking that it might end or that something bad will happen because then it will happen for sure. I'm going to through this with the attitude that we will make this together no matter what shit we get from others and from life in general. Because I genuinely believe we can. We're forgetting the past, looking at where we're standing right now and then we look at where we want to stand in the future. We are willing to put everything on this because we think it's worth it. It's as simple as that really. I love Hannah and still respect her. My love and respect for her can only grow right now and I don't plan on stopping something like that. Some of these things may sound like a cliché but sometimes there is a reason to why certain things are clichés.

So there you have it. A, in my opinion, pointless explanation to why we're doing this. But it feels like we'll be getting a lot of (or at least some) questioning and such so I thought I'd write this and just let them read it instead of writing/telling a separate explanation to each and every person who asks because that would be extremely bothersome. I don't expect people to change their mind about anything but at least try to keep your negative comments and bashfulness to yourself if you can't say anything nice or helpful. If you've lost respect for me, then so be it. I can't really undo what has been done and I don't really want to either.

END OF LINE
(Yes I did watch 'Tron Legacy' recently, shut up.)

PS. Not happy with the explanation? Sorry, but it's all I got for you.

PPS. Sorry for the incredibly long sentences and extremely bad punctuations in the text but I was too tired to fix any of that D: